Human Duality is a theme widely explored in literature and psychology. It refers to the conflicting nature of an individual - how one can encompass both good and evil, or more broadly, potentially incompatible characteristics. Duality is a reflection of the complexities of human nature. When comparing this concept to the dichotomy of a business leader’s work and home life it presents an insightful analogy, which goes a long way to explaining why executive coaching is facing rapidly increasing demand.
Imagine a Venn diagram. In one circle put all your most common and natural attributes and personality features relating to your experience and behaviours in your home life. In the other circle do the same, but looking through the lens of your working life.
There will be an overlap, but it is often surprisingly small. It is only by doing an exercise like this with complete honesty that we realise it. This is a major factor in having a sense of overwhelm, underperforming, or job (dis)satisfaction.
It is NOT about work-life balance; that is fundamentally about time. This Duality is about behaviour and natural instincts. Working with a Coach enables you to first become aware of the differential and secondly to develop certain skills in order to widen the overlapping area on the Venn diagram.
No wonder, then, that so many people feel that they are putting on a ‘performance’ whilst at work. Subconsciously, we are constantly trying to create the illusion that both of our circles overlap perfectly. Nobody’s do. Many people struggle with having to ‘switch on’ an alternate identity for the workplace. Similarly, there are conflicts between work and home relating to our roles, expectations of us, attributes that create success at work may create conflict at home, plus the internal conflict that all this can cause creates stress for many people.
A good Coach will help you identify the conflicts, help you develop and grow your overlapping circles, and guide you to feel more balanced. All of which means, you can enhance your performance at work AND be happier still at home.
Have you ever noticed opposing forces in your work vs home lives?
I try to meet with, virtually or in person, lots of my business and coaching contacts, and I find this an effective way of keeping up to date with the latest relevant issues. It also helps to ‘ground’ me and encourage me to check in with my own work and approach. Along the way I have lots of discussions about leadership which inevitably entails wildly differing views and opinions.
Out of the proliferation of remote work during and after COVID, a new challenge for organisations has emerged: many important skills are not easily, or cannot be, nurtured through screens. In the traditional office environment, the subtle yet powerful process of learning osmotically plays a critical role. Leaders model behaviours, and employees, often subconsciously, absorb crucial skills such as adaptability, emotional intelligence, and intuitive decision-making. Even resilience can be enhanced through witnessing other people’s coping mechanisms.
Reflecting on what I feel makes a leader truly great, I realise that leadership is generally misunderstood. It should not be about rank or authority;